I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
