I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
