so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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