Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
