i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
