Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
