Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
