**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
You pole danced in your parka.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
