What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize