shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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