he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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