So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
