is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Did you pee in the oven last night??
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize