i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
