i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
