Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
