i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
