I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
