I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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