the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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