its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
