i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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