There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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