This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Randomize
