It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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