There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
