Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize