we have officially lost it.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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