if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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