She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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