1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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