oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
