i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
