You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
