No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
