Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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