Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
