did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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