another moral hangover. fuck.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
