I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
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