She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
