So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
