I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
it glows. i had to have it.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
it's great music for shaving your balls
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I had to cum in my sink.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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