Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just gargled with NyQuil
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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