All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
