She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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