I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
