Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
