the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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