i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
