Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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