What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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