I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
