I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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