we have pet lesbian snakes
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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