So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
