I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
there is glitter all over my balls
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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