If i come over, it means nothing
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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