My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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