You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
