I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
