my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
