i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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