were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
