Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
