i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize