i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
