there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We need a shit load of segways right now
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
