I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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