This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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