My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
