I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I don't think brook has ever known best
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
