Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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