So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
