did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
