No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
