I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
