Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
