I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
