We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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